Dear Avid Reader…

       …not a story, even one of my own slightly erotic ones, about how and in what strange deviant sexual behaviour the X-men came to be. Sorry!!!

As it happened I was doing a little sorting and in amongst some of my possessions I came across an old drawing pad and within its dusty pages I found some… scribblings for want of a better word. As you’ll see the tag line to my blog is there for all to see written way back in August 1989. Now, with the advent of T.M.I. or what is more commonly known as the W.W.W. one gets the feeling trying to find the root of almost anything is a Herculean task, whereas back in the mists of time I don’t recall hearing and repeating the phrase so maybe I was the eejit that coined it!

The second passage also contains a little something regarding my name…

I might add to this in the future with more vicissitudes from the vaults…




When the synapses have been lubricated let’s just answer “fuck it” and to hell with the consequences!




I lie here contemplating the infinite scenarios of my future, always biased, hopeful of the Hollywood endings. The next room seems impossibly distant across huge psychological barriers, the daunting terror of fulfilled dreams. Through half-closed eyes I embrace her, with open (reality ridden) eyes, I weep wishing my life away using stolen lyrics. By definition she is what I desire, believing I see mirrored emotion, but being the last of the cynical romantics, I know it cannot be so. How can one bescared of a life of happiness. Not the gambler when the stakes are so high only willing to lose life itself, not able to gamble my life.



All my life I’ve never told anyone of my architecture (I know) so to speak, so why am I annoyed when people don’t understand it. Perhaps <BULLSHIT> only when she doesn’t understand it    but perhaps she would never            ( understand ) it                  so that means there is no or little hope. OH FUCK THIS FOR A GAME OF SOLDIERS as someone used to say a long time ago. Why do I always feel like apologising when I write as if I didn’t already know.            FUCK  OFF


(Written after the last but before my next birthday)



So there you have it two blasts from the past, fuck me I was a depressing bastard!!!


~ by ftfagos on April 26, 2012.

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