Testing… testing… 1…. 2…. 3….

Perhaps, Dear Avid Reader, the notification feature on this Blog (where does that term come from anyway, I’m sure I knew once) isn’t working, maybe it is.


Anyhow I’m sitting in my car, waiting, killing time and the sun is low in the sky and it’s only 1 PM. That time of year I guess, just a few short days before the winter Solstice or the end of the world (delete as applicable) and the shortest day. It seems as if the sun is tired and can only manage to climb so far into the sky and just can’t be bothered to go all the way up. I’m in the business so I guess I should know!

The long shadows of the trees stretch out across the cold ground and yet within the cocoon of my car the December sun is warm, even pleasant. When I venture out into the winter air only the darkness behind the evergreen trees is cold; standing in the sun is warm and cleansing. If my body enjoys the light, my mind wanders due to geography to less bright thoughts. Warm thoughts, but definitely, what you would call morally ambiguous memories.

Much further away in time and space but around the same time of year albeit later in the day and in a setting of sociability rather than solitude and introspection I offered a line with which some of you may be familiar. For my sins I can’t remember the object of my desire’s first name but I do remember her married name and that her husband was sitting beside his wife on her left while I was on her right.

The conversation turned, and the sun had been down for quite a few hours as I listened to what the woman beside me said. The line was offered innocently enough but I’m sure some back-brain, animal part of my psyche knew full well what I was saying but that conscious part, the area responsible for morality only became aware of the reflex (born of habit) reply to her answer. I’m sure the Lizard part of my brain knew full well what I was saying!

“Do you have any Irish in you?”

The positive or negative reply is inconsequential but this night it was a ‘No’.

Like a computer program that has to follow a set of rules laid down within its core code I replied “Would you like some?”

A line I have used many a time as much for the craic as for divesting an attractive lady of her underwear. And this was where the script varied. A laugh, a look of feigned and occasionally unfeigned shock is the standard reply and even once a slap across the face.

All good and welcome responses.

This time… a pause and then…


And an occasion arose, not unheard of but still rare enough where I was left speechless. The lack of words was mainly due to that pause, the considered and serious nature of the reply. Talk about the conversation turning!

And it did, still a fun and enjoyable conversation but with a palpable carnal edge. With both of our respective partners sat either side of us. Maybe some of that time was in my back-brain as I wrote ‘Risk and Reward’ as well as other less risqué though equally rewarding times. But I am sure the twinkle I saw in her eyes was identical to the same gleam she saw in mine and when my hand rested upon her knee the only reaction there was, was for her legs to part and allow unhindered progress up her thigh.

What I said earlier about the line being used for as an aid for the removal of knickers was untrue in this case as it turned out she thought VPL would have ruined the look of her dress. There was no ‘afterwards’ with the lady that night but I did find that I was often worrying a hangnail as the evening progressed and, for me at least, my ardour was sated quite enthusiastically with my partner at the time.

Odd really how a bright winters day can turn your thoughts….

…I do feel a little guilty though; I really should be able to remember her first name.


~ by ftfagos on December 9, 2012.

One Response to “Testing… testing… 1…. 2…. 3….”

  1. Just love that hangnail affliction;-)

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